The Power of Sincerity
Have you ever been thanked or received an apology or praise and it just didn't feel right? The words were there but no meaning behind them. Or perhaps you have done this, apologised to maintain the status quo or praised someone without truly meaning what you were saying.
Remember how you felt? The brain recognises the words but without any honesty backing up the words it's just meaningless "blah".
Most of what we say we don't even think about, we open our mouths and out they come, tumbling into the open, leaving the other person translating what they think we mean and making the rest up.
The way you say something is incredibly powerful. Sometimes you might use the wrong words, if you are passionate and genuine people will forgive you for saying them. If you use the wrong tone and the right words, people will be less forgiving and see through you.
Once people realise you don't mean the words you say any trust or belief they had in you will disappear.
Not only does this have a negative affect on the person you have just had an interaction with, it will also affect any future relationship, making them less likely to do something for you, buy anything from you or believe you when you say the same words again.
Let's take Hitler as an example - extreme I know. He was able to influence a nation through the belief and passion he had in what he was saying. Please don't get me wrong here, I am in no way saying this was right, just what it was. He went from 111 attendees at a pre arranged meeting in 1919 to leading a nation into war.
Think about a leader or a friend you can relate to. What is it that draws you to them.
Is it what they say or how they say it? Or perhaps even both.
Take it a step further into your sincerity of listening. If you are only half listening to the other person they will know. If they are explaining a story to you and you keep checking your watch or your phone, you could leave them feeling frustrated or demotivated.
It's the little things that make a big difference. I remember walking into a mobile phone shop and the 2 sales assistants were so interested in their conversation with each other I walked out. Pretty sure I wasn't the only one!!
I remember listening to a senior leader of an organisation talking about professionalism and standards but with no sincerity and no belief. The feedback from those around me was negative and untrusting.
Communication is powerful - use it wisely.