Making a difference through communication

Many of you will know someone who has suffered from stress, become ill through some loss or perhaps you even know someone who has ended up taking their own life.

Today's post is a suggestion of how we can all make a difference through communication skills and a little of our time.

It seems to me everyone's life is now so busy, we are either on our phones, laptops or dashing from one place to another, we sometimes forget to talk.

Yes we all know how to have learnt conversations, you know the ones which go a little like this;

" Hey how are you?", "ok thanks what about you?". "Yeah, same old same old, you know how it is". "Yeah I know, great to see you". Or perhaps;

"Hey how are you?", "good thanks, cold again isn't it?", "yeah think it's going to get worse before it gets better".

There are many more examples, these are learnt, safe conversations. We take our turn, allow the other person their turn and move on with our day.

How many of you and be honest, sometimes say "hey, how are you?" and know from the response we get the person is perhaps not okay. Have you noticed someone you work with who has seemed a little quiet recently or tired. It's possible you have wanted to ask them if there is anything troubling them, but don't feel you know them well enough or don't want to pry. You might even be telling yourself they will come to you if they want to talk and maybe they will.

Here is a way to open the door for them to talk, without any pressure, without any prejudice. Say what you see. What I mean by this is say something like;

" I've noticed you have been quieter his week, is everything ok?".

"You seem tired today, is there something I can do to help you?/ how can I help you".

If the person is displaying more emotion than they would normally do then label the emotion;

"You seem more frustrated today than normal".

Or if the words don't match their behaviour for example they say they are okay but are walking as if they have the weight of the world in their shoulders then say what you see;

" Hey I noticed you say you're okay but I you look like you there might be something troubling you?".

You are of course more likely to do this if you know the person well but let's make a difference and invite others to off load or chat an issue through with you. You might just be the first person who has invited them to open up or paid any interest in them as a person.

You know we all have a story, we all have times in our lives when we appreciate someone just taking time to check in with us and the worst that can happen is they say they are fine but thanks for asking. At least they know you have noticed and you will be surprised how much people will tell you because you have shown an interest in them.

This will work on relatives, partners, friends and complete strangers.

Let's make a difference and take a few minutes out of our chaotic lives to see what's really going on.

Please share if you think this might help anyone.

Nicky