You've Got To Be Conscious to Get It Right

I was watching a programme on TV the other day. I had a few minutes to spare in the evening and collapsed in front of one of those "fly on the wall documentarys", following emergency services.

I recognised one of the people being interviewed as someone I had trained.

As I watched him and the way he communicated with people he came into contact with, he was completely different from when he had been on the course. He came across to me as being impatient, sarcastic, a little rude and definitely speaking from an emotional point of view at times.

This is in no way a criticism and the TV will of course show the highlights they want to.

Based on what I saw I started thinking about how this person was so different and, to be honest, there was little display of any of the communication skills I knew he had.

He's not alone. When I reflect on my own life and the communication I use with my loved ones it can be very different from how I am in front of others. So why is this?

In my opinion good communication takes a conscious effort. We all know how we should behave in front of others, work colleagues, strangers, bosses, friends. Unless someone really knows us we we will probably not show our true emotions to them. Instead we will go home and if we are frustrated, tired, angry, share this or even take it out on the people we love the most. Probably because it's safe to do so. Is it right - of course not.

Sometimes though, especially in the "customer service" world, people get to the end of their tether, are tired, frustrated and thinking with their emotional brain and don't listen and will "tell" people what to do. As soon as we do this it's almost impossible to communicate effectively and efficiently.

The important point, again my opinion, is we are more self aware. The more we recognise how we behave, what drives us, when we are tired, the quicker we can say "you know what can we come back to this later before I say something I don't mean", or "let me have 10 minutes, then I will give you all my attention", or "sorry for behaving like a jerk" - that's normally the one I end up using :-).

We speak so often without thinking or effort and don't realise the damage we can sometimes do. We don't even mean to, but the impact we have can influence another persons day or even their life and certainly the way someone will view you in the future.

Being more conscious and more aware of how we come across is a start to improving our relationships and making a difference each day. Practicing communication is like practicing any other skill and sometimes, I feel, we forget to do this. 

Please like or share and comment. The more we talk about communication the better we become.