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What you let people say to you matters

 “Say you are an idiot or someone dies”, the  man holding a prison guard hostage  screams at the police officer. “I am an idiot”, he replies, “yes you are now tell me how great I am”. Before the officer knows what has happened he is no longer in control. He is a submissive pawn in the game of a psychopath and there is no respect.

This is a role play and the officer is in the middle of a negotiation course. An extreme example I know but how many of us allow others to say words which are displrespectful and how many of us do the same about others, even if they can’t hear us.

Every time we do it causes a negative feeling either about ourselves or another person. 

Yes we get frustrated at others because they don’t do things the way we want them to or their values and beliefs are very different from us, but I believe when we talk about them or use social media to berate them all we are doing is a reflection of ourselves and our own insecurities.

I personally have found being more self aware, reflecting on my own words and actions helps me to be kinder and live a more fulfilled life. I am a work in a progress 😁. I don’t always get it right and every day sends new challenges but I keep working on me.

I remember Oprah Winfrey interviewing Maya Angelou on the words people use about each other and how Maya Angelou was very precise on “calling people out”, if she heard them.

I sometimes wish I was stronger on this and when I hear our alleged leaders calling each other names I despair of the example they are setting to the world.

How many of you have a relationship with someone in your own life who you allow to call you “an idiot”, “you can’t do that”,  “you are so stupid”. 

It’s easy to let others over talk and belittle you and hard to stand up to the undertone of bullying. 

Be proud, stand tall and respect yourself, words matter, use them wisely.

Nicky

The Communication Coach

Riseley, Bedford MK44, UK

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